Mum embodied the spirit of our home; she was warm, welcoming and lovely to everyone. She was a big feeder – so whatever your favourite dinner was, she’d make sure it was on the menu. My siblings and I often got home to find our dinner had been given to a visitor who had called in expectantly, but mum always rustled something else up for us later. Coming from such a big family, mum was always…a mum – a sister, an aunty, a friend. She was the glue that joined us all together.
When mum got sick, she knew she didn’t want to die at home. She wanted us to hold on to the special memory of her in the place we grew up – vibrant, busy and full of life. We knew Cynthia Spencer was the best place for her. The first day mum got there, she lay down on the bed and said, “This is lovely, isn’t it?” We could see her visibly relax, as if some of her worries and tensions had melted away. The hospice staff were wonderful – so obliging and attentive – not just to mum, but to us too.
The whole family could come into the hospice to visit. I’ll always remember all of us squashed into one of the smaller side rooms watching the Euros football tournament on the TV and mum still checking with us that night if we had all had dinner. Soon after, it was mum and dad’s 43rd wedding anniversary and even more family came to join. The chaplain gave a beautiful mass and blessing to my parents which was so special.
I didn’t really understand just how important the process of dying is until we experienced it with mum – and how much of an impact it has on grieving. It’s so important that the person dying has their wishes fulfilled, and that they’re in a really nice, comfortable, loving place – like Cynthia Spencer provided.
It was as if mum was holding on for this one last moment, surrounded by everyone she loved so dearly.
Since mum passed away, the whole family has become involved with the hospice. My dad helps organise the Speedy Cup – an Irish festival with music, dancing, and of course, a big football match – and some of the proceeds go to Cynthia Spencer. And for six years now, I’ve been one of the hospice’s trustees. Holding that connection with Cynthia Spencer is important to us all – it helps keep mum’s memory alive and reminds us of the amazing care she received, which me and the whole family are eternally grateful for.
To be honest, I don’t know what we’d have done without the hospice’s support. It was mum’s wish to die in peace, in a beautiful place away from the home she brought us up in – and Cynthia Spencer made this possible. The reason they can deliver amazing care to people who need it is purely down to the kindness and generosity of our community. That is why I decided to leave them a gift in my Will – because it’s my own way of saying thank you. I hope you’ll consider supporting Cynthia Spencer, because you never know when you may need their help too.
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